i wanna die.

hi, i know, i disappeard, but i have a good reason. a lot of shit happened in my life and, this is being like, the worst MONTH of the year.. or the worst YEAR in my life. i feel lonely, i feel like i have no friends, i feel depressed, i feel lost, i feel terrible, i feel alone, i feel like shit, i feel like dying. every time i feel like crying, i can't take it anymore.

i'm putting pressure on myself because of the high school, and because of my IT course, and because of my english course, and i feel that i want to die.

i miss having friends because i made some this year, i wish i hadn't, because now i feel like everyone hates me, and that i should stay away from them, and then just die in my room. i hate everything and everyone now.

i hate my parents, i hate my school, i hate my friends(?idk if they are my friends), i hate my classmates, i hate every single piece of Earth. but i cant hate him. he's the one that i should hate the most but i do not hate him. i cried yesterday because of him, i cried today because of him. and so i'll tomorrow. i know that he lies to me, but i still want him. because he was the one that was here for me, to listen to my thoughts, my feelings, my worst nightmares, and so i did to him, not the way i wanted, but i did. he was the one who was really here for me. and no one did that for me.

i wanna try to kill myself again. i really want. i shouldn't, but i want. if i do, i'll miss them.

now a song that reminds me of him, because he showed that music to me and it was like us.