(no subject)

hi, I miss C so much.. Now she's M, not C, actually..

But I still miss him.

And I still cry when I talk about him.

Why did he tell me to kill myself? And why did he call my mother after I told him that I would do that? Is this not what he wanted?

My therapist told me that I still cry because I'm still in pain. And I'm in pain. I miss her.

I wish I had died that day, so I wouldn't be in pain now.

I've never missed someone that much. What's happening with me? I've never cared that much about someone.

I just wish that all of this would go away.

Sometimes, I think about him in class, and I try to hold my tears, but they still fall a little bit.

Why do I miss him that much?