deepuniverse: I love him. (Default)
hi, I miss C so much.. Now she's M, not C, actually..

But I still miss him.

And I still cry when I talk about him.

Why did he tell me to kill myself? And why did he call my mother after I told him that I would do that? Is this not what he wanted?

My therapist told me that I still cry because I'm still in pain. And I'm in pain. I miss her.

I wish I had died that day, so I wouldn't be in pain now.

I've never missed someone that much. What's happening with me? I've never cared that much about someone.

I just wish that all of this would go away.

Sometimes, I think about him in class, and I try to hold my tears, but they still fall a little bit.

Why do I miss him that much?

Updates(?)

Nov. 22nd, 2024 06:29 pm
deepuniverse: I love him. (Default)
Hello, it's been a long time, right? Well, these last few days my life has been like a rollercoaster and I haven't been very well. I started seeing a psychologist and, after a month, she wrote a report saying a bunch of nonsense that I didn't say and my mother read it and got really angry with me because I was sounding like she was a “villain”. And not only that, but she also wrote about my sexual orientation. I was so upset and now my mother is trying to make me see another psychologist.

(C uses both she/her and he/him pronouns)
Now, changing the subject, C told me that I'm his best friend. Do you know how happy I felt when I heard those words? Because like, she's my only friend now, I'm trying to be friends with R, S and L, but for now she's the only one, and besides, she's my best friend too. I was very happy because I felt that she trusted me, and I hope so, because I trust her. Right now I'm feeling lost, lonely and unhappy, but I'll be better soon :)

Sometimes I miss my other friends like N, V, D... But it's better this way, I think...

I'm so exhausted too, these last few weeks I've been studying a lot for the exams and now that I received the results I feel much lighter because I got good grades, but tired too.

That's it for today! :)

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deepuniverse: I love him. (Default)
deepuniverse

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